Friday, April 20, 2012

Adrenaline Seekers Stop Here



Parenting is not for all, but it may be for you.  As a parent you are usually faced with a daily dichotomy that is easily likened to the fight-or-flight response.  On a day that you as a parent are not faced with this (a day when your air passages are not dilated, blood vessels are not constricted, and your heart rate remains safely steady), you can honestly say that you've had a good day (or a boring day depending upon your thrill seeking needs).  When your central nervous system isn't working overtime to fire neurons, when your anxiety level is at the smiley face standard, when your head doesn't feel like it belongs to a bludgeoned Rocky Balboa, when you don't find yourself hiding out in your phone booth (a.k.a. closet), and when you don't mutter "Calgon, take me away", then you, my friend, deserve a cardboard cookie and some ice cream (or a glass of wine - or two).  You can have those goodies once the kids have completed homework, been fed, been bathed, their teeth have been brushed, stories have been read, and they've drifted off to dream land; that is, if you're not catching Zzz's in dream land, too.  Parenting is, as my wise Dad would say, like eating a ketchup popsicle while wearing white gloves.  It's a job like non other and a job that must be done by only brave beings for it is next to impossible, yet more rewarding than any other job when done right. 

It's a miracle that I survived the sneaking out, crowd surfing, bruised mosh pitting, sky diving days of my youth, the time & place for everything called COLLEGE, and my relatively care-free twenties.  Today when I compare that blissful me to the me that now holds a stay-at-home-mom status, I still see the same person at the core, and it's still a miracle that she survives each day.  She really looks haggard sometimes, and sure, she's not as cool as she once *knew* she was, but she tries in her own spazzy way.  She no longer dons her bulky, rebellious Doc Marten's, but she does wear sensible shoes and keeps a freezer stocked with Pop-Ice, an abundance of Capri Suns in the fridge, and microwave popcorn is a staple in her pantry as one never knows when an impromptu play date may arise...and those are just as cool and welcome to her kids as they are to her. 

I've traded in what seems like a chill past life for years of surreal, heart palpitating adventures including tantrums, potential broken bones, ambulance ride(s), allergic reactions, weekly grocery shopping with tots in tow, sleepless nights, The Wiggles, hospital stays, unwanted advice, finger pricks, immunizations, tantrums, falls, face plants, scrapes, criticism, festering wounds, wrinkles, bug bites, bounce houses, tantrums, judgement, projectile Exorcist-ish vomit, seeping blow outs, diapers, sheer perplexity, public humiliation, birthday parties, tantrums, piercing words, more diapers, overwhelmed thoughts, body aches, heart aches, frustration, fear, doubt, stress, endless worry (did I mention tantrums?)...Yet I have been granted the title of "Mom," a lifetime of free hugs, complimentary kisses, endless love, giggles galore, and innumerable proud memories including so many joyful triumphs and firsts:  first smiles, coos, rolls, babbles, crawls, words, steps, friends, bus rides, school days, sports teams, goals, trophies, stories, dances, dates, etc. (the thoughts of which still - and forever will- lead me to tears).

I have also gained daily doses of pure goodness, and I am so fortunate to have nearly three little beings  that are true blessings in my life.  Some days I feel as if I don't deserve them.  They're so impressionable, so innocent, so genuine, so very sweet, too perfect to be from me, and simply angelic when they're sleeping.  Best of all  --  they're my whole world.  So when petty things pass my way or I am feeling beaten and beyond weary, I must remind myself of these blessings, be thankful for my role as a parent, ask for patience, and thank God for my babies and for the gratuitous steady doses of the free drug that is adrenaline.  It keeps me going, and going, and going....