Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Mombie & The Force


This little flashback circa 1996 always makes me smile. 
So, let's start with something mindless before getting to the nitty gritty.

As I type this there is a Boppy pillow in my lap containing my sleeping baby, because these days nearly everywhere I go he can be found.  He's a sweet little sidekick to have around, but he has turned my world (& my older kids' world) upside down.

He's on a definite schedule now, so the stress that comes with a newborn has been slightly alleviated.  He likes to do the following things in a repetitive cycle:  Poop, eat, and sleep.  This pattern repeats itself roughly every three hours, although sometimes the poop part is multiplied, usually just after a fresh diaper has been secured on his bum...

My day revolves around maintaining his schedule while entertaining, caring for, and giving undivided attention to a needy four and a busy six-year-old, caring for an elderly dog, cleaning a neglected home, providing meals for my family, somehow caring for myself & supposedly taking time to recover from childbirth which ain't fun, entertaining visitors, smiling at my husband yet rarely getting the chance to really speak to him as sleep is more important to both of us right now, juggling everything, grinning and bearing it, missing the order that was once my life as a "homemaker," and just being "rosy."  According to Merriam-Webster, as a rosy homemaker I should be "promoting optimism."  Right...

People always say, "Be sure to sleep when the baby sleeps."  Right.  I try, but it's not that easy.  There's too much for a mom to do in one day.  If my baby is sleeping during the day, most likely I'm trying to maintain some sort of order around here, because if I don't we'll end up starring on TLC's Hoarders: Buried Alive. 

Thankfully thoughtful friends and neighbors spoiled us rotten by feeding us well for several nights when we arrived home with our new addition.  I would have definitely burnt the house down in a tired stupor if I had tried to cook, especially during the first LONG week.  The frozen pizzas and hot dogs I will now serve are like a Ford Pinto compared to the generous four-course Mercedes meals we received.  Friends also generously chauffeured our kids to camps, Vacation Bible School, the neighborhood pool, etc., and thus, my kids have thankfully endured some sort of normalcy in their little upside down worlds.  I can't even begin to explain how truly blessed we've been in the friends' department.  We'd do the same for anyone we know...time and butt wiping permitting, of course...

I am not complaining about having this little guy in tow or my new role as a Mom Zombie -- a Mombie, if you will.  He's awesome, absolutely amazing, in fact, and now that he's here I wouldn't have it any other way.  I am fully aware that  I have zero room to complain  as my girlfriend (mentioned in a previous blog post) had triplets the same day that this bundle arrived.  I feel like bowing Wayne's World style when I am in her presence, because "I'm not worthy..."  I don't know how she functions. 

Giving up my undiagnosed OCD tendencies has been one of the biggest challenges since departing the labor and delivery room.  I don't have time for them anymore.  I'm the kind of person who prefers her sandwich on the right side of her plate, side item on the left, and drink to the top right.  I also have an order in which I prefer to ingest Peanut M&M's:  Green, Yellow, Orange, Brown, Blue, and lastly Red as myths once claimed those cause cancer.  Dishes aren't allowed to sit in the kitchen sink.  That's why we have a dishwasher.  It's a place to hide the grime until it can be cleaned.  Everything has a place, and I know where that place is.  Beds must be made every day.  Mine is typically made with me partially still in it.  This is a faster method - trust me.  There was once a method to my madness in this house.



If you came to my house today, then you may find a dish - or seven - piled in the sink and a trash heap worthy of Fraggle Rock (as long as it doesn't don glasses it's okay, right?), floors that need to be vacuumed, and kids with crusty faces.  You may see me eat on the fly, not even use a plate or place a napkin over the baby in my lap so I don't dribble crumbs on him.  My kids are allowed to occasionally eat in front of the television, and yes, they've eaten bacon on the couch.  I'm lucky if I even remember to eat something resembling lunch.  Bed making has  most certainly moved down the priority totem pole, but laundry has risen to the top of the pole. 

I now find myself doing laundry everyday, because I don't want to find myself with a laundry Everest that takes hours to fold.  Forget ironing; I've always detested it anyway.  The reality is that it took me years to perfect those silly OCD tendencies and seconds to cast them aside for something much, much more important.  Life's such a mind boggling miracle and indeed, way too short, and I'm going to do the best that I can to enjoy every second of my life and my kids' from here on out.  Kids, that doesn't mean that you shouldn't keep your toys in the proper receptacles...

So, this is the new me; I'm a Mombie.  I'll smile at you, but beware, I may appear mute, listless, automated, and will-less as if I'm controlled by a supernatural force (a.k.a. a baby).  As Darth Vader would say:  "The force is strong with this one."  Perhaps I'll nickname him Young Skywalker.