Fellowship in a DysFUNctional Village

Gone are the days of the Ingalls, the Waltons, the Cleavers, the Cunninghams, the Arnolds, the Bradys, the Keatons, the Huxtables, the Tanners, & the Seavers.  They have moved far, far away into TV history.  Do we miss them?  Were they really ideal versions of family?  As a child of the '80's, I adored them all.  I thought they were the picture of a life I would someday lead.  A life of Kraft, perfect hair, pastel colors, starched clothes, and one liners [insert laugh track]...

Today we joyfully welcome to our neighborhood the following real families:  The Addams, the Simpsons, the Bundys, the Griffins, the Conners, the Cartmans, the Botwins, the Pritchetts, & the Bravermans.  They put the "fun" in dysfunctional.  They are us, and they are our neighbors.  They do serve Kraft, but if you knock on their door without calling first you may just find them relaxing in yesterday's clothes and maybe even sporting some mean bed head.  They'll let you in without the slightest feeling of embarrassment, because there's an unspoken truth that their casa es tu casa.  They are the true salt of the earth, Middle America, & where the fun is.

They are your real friends.  They are people who have great compassion for others.  They will mastermind neighborhood functions that go down in the books, like the upcoming Olympics, Book Club until 2:00 a.m., 4th of July Festivus, St. Paddy's Pot Luck, Oktoberfest, Ugly Christmas Sweater Parties,  New Year's Extravaganza complete with fireworks that go awry, the list goes on, because they find any reason to play...er...uh...party...

They will also bring your family a warm meal complete with dessert when your child or spouse has been hospitalized, they will organize the best surprise birthday party you've ever had, they will put a Boo Bag on your doorstep full of candy (not flaming poop) ring your doorbell and feel an adrenaline rush as they dart away only to hide so they can see your face as you discover your family's Halloween prizes, they will put their kitchen table along side others in the street for an impromptu pot luck dinner, at play dates they will give your kids that extra sugar cookie when you're not looking or buy Fritos because they know your kids love them, they will keep juice boxes & freeze pops on hand at all times for those sweaty headed kids tearing up their back yard, they will pick up Chinese if you bring the wine, when you're away they will take pride in getting your mail, watching your house and leaving flowers in your kitchen for you to find when you return, take your pet into their home as if it were their own, they will dress ridiculously for your amusement, they will spend a weekend's free time to help stain your mammoth fence, they will pull your weeds & ask to prune your trees, they will fertilize your plants to prove a point, they will meet you on the front porch for adult conversation once the kids are sleeping, they will rearrange their schedule in a second to watch your child when an emergency arises, they will pick up your kid at the bus stop if you can't get there in time, they will not speak - only listen - as you cry it out over things that will pass, they will put a drink (or two) in your hand when your week has been a doozie, they will laugh with you -sometimes at you- until it hurts, they will, they will, they will.  They are like the Olive Garden - when you're with them you're family.

I consider our family pretty lucky to be one of these pictures of imperfection living next door to other great dysfunctional parents and their oodles of sweet, mostly mannerly kids.  Even though we don't live on a prairie, we don't brush our hair 101 times like Marsha, & we're not raising members of the Young Republicans like Alex P. Keaton, we do occasionally don ugly patterned sweaters for fun like Cliff & Claire, and I am hopeful that we all must be doing something right.  

I know one thing - our kids childhood memories will be scattered with big smiles & messy puddle jumping, scraped knees, bike falls & encouragement from neighborhood dads, ridiculous costume parties, popcorn picnics, Flarp, legs covered in sidewalk chalk, sticky hands, play dates where rough housing is occasionally ignored & where play guns knock out teeth, impromptu dance parties to '80's tunes, relay races involving surgical tubing, bras, & raw eggs, shaving cream & sprinklers, catching frogs & racing them down the slide, wearing lizards for earrings, big eyes & jumping with glee at fireworks, & countless cuddles (some even stolen from their neighborhood moms). 

It all sounds a little nutty, but the imperfection makes this neighborhood family perfect.  If you haven't met your neighbors, you should.  They may just be the bestest friends you've never had who will be there for you in an instant, and they will help to parent  your kids.  It does take a village.

**What you might find next to the word dysFUNctional in the dictionary.  Fun, yet not absolutely perfect**